5 Tips for Transformation
In my twenties and thirties I didn’t fully grasp the meaning of transformation.
I had definitely experienced life changes that “transformed” me… like experiencing bankruptcy with my family when I was seventeen followed months later by my mom’s breast cancer diagnosis; losing my mom when I was twenty nine, and the birth of our first born with a genetic condition when I was thirty.
By sheer necessity and WILL I was transformed by these events because in many ways I had no choice. Life changed so dramatically that I was forced to transform in order to survive.
But the transformation I have been experiencing over the past decade, and more so, the past three years, is the kind of voluntary personal transformation that is self initiated in order to attain a greater level of overall well being and peace.
Ironically, it feels like there is neither well-being, nor peace while you are in the trenches of this kind of growth. It’s demanding and humbling and raw and honest, but I can say that it truly leads to a state of peace, love and harmony.
A few key factors I have noticed in my own transformation have been the following:
Take 100% responsibility for my own behaviour in relationship to myself and with those around me. No one is perfect but always defaulting to “what could I have done better in that situation?” allows you to finesse and fine tune your interaction with others, while also being quick to apologize honestly when you mess up.
Becoming more effective with my language and thinking (being impeccable with your word as the book the Four Agreements states). Choosing words that are honest, kind and empowering in every situation forces you to slow down in your responses and be more mindful.
Acknowledge that you don’t know everything and you never will - which leads to the humbling recognition that you will ALWAYS be a student of life, learning something new daily. That sets you up to look for ways to be better and not in a way that nothing is ever good enough, but rather, in a way that keeps you in a healthy growth mindset as a CHOICE and as a way of life (which is actually very liberating).
Set healthy boundaries for yourself around people whose behaviour is toxic, those people that are not willing to take responsibility for anything. These people will leave you feeling depleted, continuously create drama, and blame everyone and everything for their issues. We teach people how to treat us and this has been a huge lesson for me in my adult years. Creating healthy boundaries has been very difficult in some relationships but in the end, not being a punching bag for other peoples lack of personal accountability and subsequent projection, has given me greater internal peace. And in my mid 50’s peace is the path!!
Committing to reading, learning, listening daily to new people, thoughts, ideas in order to expand my level of understanding and awareness is a brilliant default way to live that keeps me in growth mode and hungry to learn daily.
These are the top 5 that come to mind.
What are areas of transformation you have experienced that have helped you on your path to becoming a better version of yourself daily?
Grateful to be on this journey with you! I BELIEVE IN YOU!
Thank you for being here.
Never forget one person can make a difference…. that one person is YOU.
With so much love,
Your friend,
Kim xo
